Why are you here?
Ask yourself this question. Perhaps you will say you were guided here by providence. Or improvidence. Maybe you seek safe harbor from the tempestuous seas of internet vice. Or you are lying in wait for something awesome to happen on Facebook. A watched pot never boils, and you know this, so you come here. You have better things to do--productive things--things which you are putting off. They will find you, these things...
Me, I am here for these reasons. I am putting things off. Lolly-gagging, as they say. I was supposed to go bouldering an hour and a half ago. I am supposed to look at a bathroom job. I need to fill out school applications. Pay bills. Check up on the Facebook. Get out of these sweatpants. You know, get stuff done. Important stuff.
Yet I blog.
And you, you find yourself here, reading my blog. Snap out of it. You have things to do. What a waste of your time. You could be so productive--yet you squander your time here. You could be Facebooking. What if you miss that deal on Steep and Cheap because you were here instead? It totally could happen.
But Distraction, being one of the Helmsmen of Fate, has condemned your time and focus to be completely up in this stupid blogpiece at this moment. You'll never get this moment back. Me, well, I'm here too. Right with you, reader.
But never you mind, for this blog is going to be about complete and total awesomeness. By complete and total awesomeness, I mean it will probably be about yoga, meditation, conscious living, and wellness. Seriously, everything else is just plain weak. Weak and dumb.
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| For real. Like I said, everything else is just plain weak. |
So, welcome again to my blog. With it, I hope to bring hope to the hopeless, art to the artless, distraction to the focused. May it be a beacon of stupidity, and may its blinding light guide you away from your tasks at hand.
-- John Averette
You spoke right to me! How did you know I was still in my sweat pants checking 'The Facebook'
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ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I look forward to reading further posts! Hurry up and post already!
ReplyDeleteI'm so psyched i have a good blog to read now!
ReplyDeleteyou've managed to set the bar both extremely high and low....i'm impressed.
ReplyDeletewhy did no one comment on the fact that you commented on your own blog? And why are all of David's posts removed by an administrator? I'm so glad that someone wrote down your blog address and left it by the waterstone computer.
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